Wild Chickens plot to take over the world

Yes, these mild mannered wild homeless chickens have found me. They know that I intend to take over the world someday. They are keeping a close watch on me because their kind, the chicken kind, also has the same desire - To take over the world. Or mainly we just plot to take over the world and do nothing because plotting is just damn good fun. Notice how they pretend to be walking away after they caught me taking their picture. I know their game. They have confirmed visual sighting of me and will send for more of their kind to pretend to eat the birdseed I leave for the wild birds. Look at those beady little eyes. Can you see them? Huh? Huh? I tell you these chickens mean business.
Even my cats suspect these are not normal birds. Being that the birds are about twice their size with big peckers, the cats keep their distance not willing to risk one of their 9 lives on peckerheads. Jackie says we should cut off their heads and let them run around. The chickens, not the cats. If you've got the freezer space, I've got free range organic chickens.

Happy Labor Day Weekend

picture courtesy of Lisa

So I get this email

from an ex-boyfriend. And I respond to the first email in what Jackie said coulda been an email to my sister. I received 4 emails in return and haven't responded to any of them. The latest and 5th email came this morning. I'm only going to post the funniest section of the email.
From the ex:

"So how are you doing? Can you use a man in your life? Do you have a man in your life? Ran into my neighor the other day. She has given in and found her self a Fem. I can understand the why but just can not understand the mechanics. The hand, tongue and mind can be a powerful force but when it comes to the rapture I could think of nothing better then a long weinie and a wonderful and willing female organ.
Your chocolate is on my peanut butter sort of thing."

I've been laughing for hours. Do you think I should reply, "You had me at rapture?" or maybe the long weinie. Jeez.
Remind me to post about the first email where he mentions "wedding sheets."