Dream- The bad dream

The Dreams- the Bad Dream
Again you appeared as my 2nd Earthly mother. Yelling at me, condemning me, attempting to destroy all of me. This time even telling me none of my family members wanted to be around me as your parting insult. You are the voice that I want to turn off. You are the voice of all my doubts, my insecurities. You are the voice that blames me for all that is wrong with anything and everything. You make me want to lash out at other humans that resemble you. I don't know what outlet to use for the anger I have for you. You make me feel so small and insignificant. And how I have tried to please you. It will never happen, even in my dreams.
I'm tired of this same verbal battle in this dream. Everything I say is matched with an insult. All I say is made to be wrong. I never "win" in this dream. And yet you are a dream, I know you are the constant stream of doubt in my waking hours. The voices of the past that will not let me go. You haunt me and tortue me. You have no beauty and try to negate any beauty I find. I want you to go away.